Sex & Shame
Couples work · Individual sessions

Sex
& Shame

Almost no one was taught how to talk about this. So most of us went quiet, and took the quiet into our relationships.

Sadie Gardere and Kevin Eyres work with couples and with individuals on the place we were taught to hide. Not to fix you. To give you language, practices, and a room where the conversation can finally happen.

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We believe sex is a sacred act of expression, creativity, and soul.

What this is

The conversation you keep not having.

We do not treat shame as a problem to be fixed. We treat it as the thing standing between you and what you actually want to say. We work with couples together, and with individuals one to one, using the practices we have built in our own relationship.

We do this together, as a couple. That is deliberate. You will not hear theory about intimacy from two people who have never had to practise it on each other.

For couples

Who love each other, and have gone quiet in this one room of the house.

For individuals

Carrying something they have never said out loud, to anyone, including themselves.

For the curious

Who suspect the sexual is also spiritual, and have had nowhere to explore that.

How we practise

Six things that have let us grow toward each other.

These are not rules for you. They are what we have found to be true between us, and they are what the class is built on.

Yes, tell me more

We meet each other with a yes, tell me more. Before the reaction, before the judgment, before the fix.

No edits, no deletes

We began in writing, the way people once wrote letters. It slowed us down enough to catch ourselves polishing and refining hiding. So we stopped taking things back.

Fantasy is not a demand

All of it is allowed and embraced in the world of fantasy. The skill is knowing the difference between fantasy and this must happen.

Bashful and bold

Both of you get to come. Neither one is the whole of you, and neither has to be hidden to keep the other.

A strong trunk

A strong trunk is what lets you explore your limbs. The security is not the opposite of the adventure. It is what makes it possible.

Sex is sacred

Underneath all of it, a belief that sex is an act of expression, creativity, and soul. We teach from there.

Ways to work with us

Three doors in.

We take a small number of people at a time. This work needs a room small enough to be honest in.

Together

Couples work

The two of us with the two of you. A man and a woman in the room means both of you get heard by someone who recognises the shape of it.

Sessions with Sadie and Kevin
Enquire about couples work
One to one

Individual work

Some of this is yours to meet on your own first. Work privately with Sadie or with Kevin, at whatever pace the material asks for.

With Sadie or with Kevin
Enquire about private sessions
In development

The class

Sex and Shame, a small group class we are building now. No dates yet. Write to us and you will hear about it first.

Dates to be announced
Hear about it first
Who we are

Two teachers, one relationship.

Sadie Gardere

Sadie Gardere

Clinician · Coach · Author · Hoffman teacher

Medical staff at Stanford, published researcher on oxytocin and childhood anxiety, and a teacher at the Hoffman Institute. Sadie teaches people how to be emotionally present, with themselves first and then with the people they love most.

sadiegardere.com
Kevin Eyres

Kevin Eyres

Entrepreneur · Coach · Speaker · Hoffman teacher

A teacher at the Hoffman Institute, and previously Managing Director of LinkedIn Europe. Kevin works where the head meets the heart, with leaders and with people doing their own inner work.

eyres.com

We are not neutral experts. We are two people who kept choosing the harder, more honest conversation, and found more of each other every time.